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  • Tiera Reed

How to Support Your Partner While TTC


Every month can be an emotional rollercoaster for a woman trying to conceive (TTC). The anticipation, hope, and sometimes the heartbreak can be incredibly taxing. As a partner, it can be challenging to fully understand what she’s going through and how best to support her. Let's explore the emotional journey she experiences and offer practical ways for you to be her rock during these times.

Understanding Her Emotional Journey

The journey of trying to conceive often feels like riding a rollercoaster with its highs and lows. Each month brings a fresh wave of emotions as she navigates the anticipation of a potential pregnancy and the disappointment of a negative result. She might not always show it, but the internal struggle is real.

Internally, she might be battling feelings of inadequacy, fear, and frustration. Externally, she might try to keep a brave face, not wanting to burden others with her pain. This internal versus external struggle can impact her overall well-being, making it crucial for her to have a strong support system.

Ways to Support Her

  1. Active Listening One of the most powerful ways to support her is to simply listen. Be present and give her your undivided attention when she needs to talk. Sometimes, she just needs someone to hear her out without offering solutions or advice. Sit with her, hold her hand, and let her vent.

  2. Creating a Safe Space Encourage open communication by creating a safe, non-judgmental space where she feels comfortable sharing her thoughts and feelings. Let her know that it’s okay to express her emotions, whether they are of joy, hope, frustration, or sorrow. Make it a point to ask how she's feeling, both physically and emotionally.

  3. Practical Support

  • Household Chores: Take the initiative to handle more of the household chores. Whether it’s cooking dinner, doing the laundry, or cleaning, these small acts can significantly reduce her stress.

  • Appointments: Offer to accompany her to doctor’s appointments. Being there can provide emotional support and show that you’re in this together.

  • Errands: Run errands without being asked. Pick up groceries, get the car serviced, or take care of the pets. These gestures can show your commitment and help lighten her load.

  1. Emotional Support Sometimes, she might just need a shoulder to cry on or a hug to feel better. Offer comfort without trying to fix things. Acknowledge her feelings and validate her experience. Let her know that it’s okay to feel what she’s feeling. Use phrases like, "I’m here for you," or "It's okay to be upset."

  2. Shared Activities Spend quality time together doing activities that she enjoys. Plan a date night, go for a walk, or simply watch a favorite movie. These shared moments can provide a sense of normalcy and connection.

  • Date Night: Plan a special evening with her favorite meal and a movie she loves.

  • Nature Walks: Suggest a walk in the park to get some fresh air and unwind.

  • Creative Projects: Engage in a hobby together, like painting, cooking a new recipe, or gardening.

  1. Affirmations and Encouragement Regularly remind her of her strengths, beauty, and the love you have for her. Affirmations can boost her self-esteem and help her feel cherished and valued, regardless of the outcome of each cycle. Compliment her efforts and acknowledge the small victories.

  • Daily Compliments: Make it a habit to give her genuine compliments every day.

  • Encouraging Notes: Leave little notes around the house reminding her of your love and support.

  • Verbal Affirmations: Use positive and affirming language daily to boost her morale.

7. Share Your Emotions It can often feel like the burden of trying to conceive is solely on her. Hearing that this journey is affecting you (whether positive or negative) can help her feel like you're in this together as a team. Feeling the wins and loses together.


Supporting your partner through the ups and downs of each cycle is crucial for her emotional well-being. By being proactive and empathetic, you can help her navigate this challenging journey with love and understanding. Remember, your support can make a world of difference. Let’s walk this path together, offering strength and encouragement every step of the way.

Looking for more personalized support? As a Fertility Doula, I’m here to guide and support you through your fertility journey. Reach out to learn more about my services and how we can work together to achieve your goals.

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